Problems I'm Facing

1. Have no idea what my dream job is.
2. Have no idea what I want to study in university.
3. Have no idea what my life aim is.
4. Constantly decreasing test scores.
5. Distant relationship with teachers around me.
6. Fantasy of earning lots of money without having to work.
......
Reality is cruel all the time, especially now.

Pressure Brings Me Down

I did bad in my third monthly test. I kept making stupid mistakes that I would never make when I'm doing regular exercises. Almost in every subject, I fell behind while others enjoyed their achievements. I guess pressure is bringing me down. I can't be like this anymore. But where could I find the solution?

Crush

Today as I was leaving school when I kinda ran into our vice headmaster just at the school gate. He was coming in and I was going out, chatting with my friend. At once he captured my eyes. I wasn't so sure if that was him. I confirmed by taking another glance and  was immediately attracted by his... I don't know how to describe it. And I looked right on his face before he realized he was watched by someone. Then he looked at me, I looked at him. Right at that moment, I knew I was supposed to greet him but I couldn't say a word. It felt like when I tried the 跳楼机 for the first time, I was so moved by the beautiful scenary I saw in the sky. I didn't scream and I wished to stay in the sky for as long as possible. I guess he could have felt something strange about me.
I think he's the handsomest among the leaders in our school. He was realistic, and humorous, more of an inside person. I attended his classes when I was in senior 1. He would come to the classroom early and play classical music using the laptop before beginning lesson. He would talk about his hobby including hi-fis and collecting Chinese acient teapots during class as examples of some economic phenomenon. I enjoyed pretty much every minute of it.
Recently I noticed he changed his dressing style. He casually leaves the bottom part of his shirt out of trousers, unlike most of the teachers in our school. He looks more comfortable and charming now. I like this change.

Dreams

Part Une
One night in last month, I had a dream which I experienced death in. I was on a geographical study tour organized by school with teachers and friends walking in the street of Hong Kong. The street was in chaos, I believed, and we called the police. The police's reply was that under the special circumstances like that, the police force couldn't help us. We were on our own. Then the camera moved to another stage where the group of us were walking up a slope. Suddenly a grenade-like object fell from the sky and I yelled 'Everyone get down!' but nobody listened until a few secs later it exploded. I was on the ground covering my head while some of my friends got injured. Not long after that, men in black jumped out of all the vans nearby and pointed their gun at us. We had no option but to do as they said. We were taken to the basement of an abandoned building. They told us to line up and sit down. We all followed their instruction. Then they began to shoot us, one by one. My friends died in front of me. Out of nowhere, my hand grabbed a gun. I was almost lying on the ground when I tried so hard to shoot the bad guys. What I did was in vain. Finally a bullet went through my heart and I was dead. That was when I woke up, shivering. I was so afraid that what I dreamt might actually happen one day. Then I went back into the dream to see if there was a slightest chance to turn things around. Although my body was dead, I was conscious. Things went on as the movie The Butterfly Effect. I tried to pretend to be a doctor and said I was of value to them. I even dressed the leader's injury. Nothing went on. Then I jumped to the scene when I was running after my teacher. He was supposed to protect me and we were supposed to get out of there together. We ran from the basement to the top of the building. Apparently there was no way to go any further. My dream stuck there and ended.
Part Deux
A few days earlier, I had another weird dream. [The maths teacher who taught me during senior 2 is called M. And now my maths teacher is called G.] M's baby was born a couple of months ago so M had been taking vacation to look after his wife and baby. But he returned one day to teach us. We had been taught by G ever since we were senior 3. We didn't know that G was a substitute for the period. But the problem was that we(more specifically, I) like G very much and I hate M. M was old, boring and annoying. But my memory flashed back to the first day G met us. His words suggested he was not permanent. It was then did I know M was to teach us instead of G. As I was thinking about it, M started his lesson and G was sitting on the right side of the classroom. G was smiling, quietly paying attention to M, like M was his teacher. We were angry about M teaching us again. So once we had the chance, we laughed at him. We expressed our dissatisfaction in every possible way but M still wouldn't go away, G was still smiling gently. That was when I woke up, asking myself "R U out of ur mind?". I don't know what I think about later. I just put it behind.