Come and Go

这个星期，刚上学就想着放学。
Tue又逃课去玩roller，终于可以不脱鞋直接从楼下回宿舍，好开心。那个什么服务一条街，我想了老半天终于想到教人玩sudoku，不过这个项目被批的可能性很小，也好，不用准备了～
然后到了Wed，调酒班最后一节课，教做cheese cake，满心欢喜想着有得吃一口，谁知道整晚看着老师做，做完要冻5个小时...干瞪眼。虹吸壶、打cream机、咖啡豆，都很想买，但是都很鬼贵！中级班更夸张，4块水！我哪里来？？？老天啊，掉点钱给我吧！
盼到Thur，上完白痴的思修课，赶去周英开会，可怜的我们被中国大酒店放鸽子...这个学期只能转战朗逸xx酒店，啊，诸事不顺！
终于回到家，竟然在家断网？！荒谬！！！

倒霉的一周

周一：锁单车时手指捅到旁边单车的链上，满手机油
周二：早上起床鼻子很痛。体能测试，跳远只有152，还是跳了第二次的成绩。上了大学不锻炼，大不如前，还被同班男生看到，太样衰了...晚上8.30睡，总是睡不着，在发烧
周三：感冒很重，还没好。晚上学抛瓶，打烂两个，又被同班男生笑...之后不敢再练习
才过了一半，接下来还有什么呢？

When the end gets near

事情做到了最后，总有一种失落的感觉。
班会如此，中秋晚会如此，连组织去敬老院慰问也是如此。Why? I can't figure out why.
今晚的会议我就坐在那里，什么也不想说，只有一种到了尽头而孤独的感觉。可能明天还是这样吧...whatever

These days

工作围绕着敬老院
生活围绕着自己
脑袋围绕着一个人
食物围绕着鸡扒
晚上围绕着开会&贝岗
很想围绕着朋友
音乐围绕着Snow Patrol
电视围绕着Huddy
有时候想一下，这样就够了，死不了，也不会太down...只是，仍然每天充满对happiness & excitement的希望
在看某人的blog的时候突然想起初中时遇见小学同学，仅仅相隔一年，他变了很多，沉郁了，他说所有人都是虚伪的，戴着面具做人，很辛苦。那时候我只是觉得，他成熟了，会想问题了，但我丝毫没有“戴着面具做人很辛苦”的感觉，我不明白他为什么那么阴沉。很庆幸我到现在还没有这样的感觉，因为我一直极力保持自我，真的自己。不屑的人，非志同道合者，我尽量逃避，不会多说一句话，用无声的笑容掩饰冷漠。他选择戴上面具，我选择逃避，或许我更懦弱。也许面具才是这个社会所需的，我只有一副自己的面孔，无法和各种各样的人打交道，也注定了我只有少量的朋友，其他人都是过客，都会被我遗忘或深深地痛恨...他们也不会take me seriously...这样很公平

第一次刷街

昨天实在是太爽了。
第一次穿上小学时代的单排在隧道口小心翼翼地练葫芦步...
五点多去隧道口，6点55决定逃课，8点吃沙县，然后去刷街，9点多踩去中心湖，10点会13栋楼下开会，回到宿舍11点多好在还有热水。多么充实的一个晚上！
只不过今天全身酸痛...

China Hotel

Wow, finally after so much preparation, Rose, Vera and I got to China Hotel. Entered a building of about ten years old, we took an elevator also aged about ten, then we walked into a mini conference room. An officer was expecting us and she went to set up the laptop and projecter as we asked and another officer came in with 2 cups of water and later another cup. Just then the first officer, Olivia which she later introduced herself as, informed us that we should be facing only two students, herself and the one who gave us water, later known as *sorry, I forgot*. We were actually shocked, literally shocked. We didn't know what to do, how to teach the whole class of two officers. Based on the previous communications with Olivia, whom Rose said was a fluent English speaker, we decided right the way to jump to plan B which is designed for high level students, of course the testing part was skipped. Olivia told us that it should be a demo of our class which should last no more than 35 mins, so we cut and cut and cut all the discussions and gave them the main structure. At first I was nervous but after I did my part of introduction during which I made a little interaction with the 2 students, I started to get on track. But I felt I was uneasy compared to Rose and Vera. They tried their best to explain the structure of the speech and useful phrases and I was supporting the falling writing paper. Surprisingly what interested them most was relaxation in the middle of the class. So we went through it smoothly.
After the class was over, we had a little meeting with the 2 officers. They pointed out that we spoke too fast, that we should take students' English level into account and we should focus more on the common use of the phrases. Oh no! We assumed they were high level students at the very beginning! It was the major problem, other than that, I thought we were fine. After everything was settled, we left for 007.
Going to TeeMall(?) with Rose and Vera was great fun. We first bought the movie tickets, then seperated to look for food, at last waited at the cinema entrance. Just then I realized I had lost the ticket, three of us looking up and down, inside out of my bag and my pockets but it was fruitless. So I sent them in and went out looking for that little piece of paper. I remembered my route but couldn't find it. At last I went to the entrance and asked if I could get in. The lady said I should ask the sales window but when I got there, the miss said they had shifted and the person who sold me the ticket was gone and she couldn't make a decision. I raised my voice and she told me to go to the office. In the office, I repeated everything and a man lead me in. Haha, finally I got in. Worth mentioning that I didn't provide any prove that I had paid for my ticket and my friends were in the cinema.
The movie was boring, I still think Daniel Criag is too short. We went window shopping afterwards. It was exciting, all girl stuff. Trying shoes and make-ups and perfumes...
I was planning to watch my friend modeling at the welcome-freshmen party hosted in her university but instead I came to TeeMall. Luckily, the show was broken in by the unexpected shower and I got to do that another time!
It was crazy and we got in the subway only to hear the broadcast saying Line 4 had stopped service. I was so near home that I decided to go home and Rose and Vera together were to catch the last bus back to U. A brief fairwell, I was at home.

新造敬老院

今天终于去了部长们迷路1h才找到的新造敬老院。由于有了副部的tips，我们今天路上没有太多的曲折，比较顺利地到达目的地。
我们找到一个老婆婆，坐下来和她谈话。她已经80多岁，耳朵不好，我坐在她旁边讲得很大声她才听的见。他们老人在那里的生活其实挺闷， 平时没有活动，没有人打麻将，没有人做锻炼，他们只是在宿舍附近散散步，最多和投契的人聊聊天......平淡，没有色彩。那位老婆婆还很委屈地告诉我们，住她旁边的另外一个老婆婆总是骂她，我没有多问，她说她儿子向院长申请过换房间，可院长没有同意，到现在已经两年了。卫生和伙食还是可以的，卫生由护工负责，打扫得比较频繁，宿舍里虽然空空的，但也挺整洁；一周的食谱是定的，应该比较健康（没仔细研究），但长期吃会很闷。很多老人都有脚痛的问题，医院就在敬老院不远，但他们看病要自己付钱（应该是非公费无保险）。平时没有水果吃，他们很多都没牙，也吃不了。我问老婆婆她有什么需要，她很惧怕地说：“不能说的！我们说了我们就会被院长骂的！”这出乎我意料之外。我不断地引导她告诉我们，她就是不说，我们也没办法。
路线和时间我们大致确定好了。但要表演的节目和带去的东西还需要讨论。我认为最有用的是一人一个小药箱。水果也很有必要。清洁工具不用带。
后来和护工谈话，得知原来刚才那位老婆婆有点痴呆症，那里十几个老人都有痴呆症。
那里一共住40个人，只有20个可以出来活动，不知道里面有几个有痴呆症呢...
我们搞活动场地不大，只能在亭子里。无非也是唱歌跳舞说说话罢了...
后来去看饭堂，遇到一个退役军人老爷爷，他比较开朗，讲了一个奇怪的冷笑话，不愧是人老心不老。
其实老婆婆住在那里并不快乐，她家给大火烧了，她去兄弟姐妹家住了一段时间后才去敬老院，孩子都在外打工，敬老院里没有使她觉得快乐的东西。不知道其他老人是否也不快乐...
回来后我在想，我以后应该先设定一个协议，如果我患了痴呆症，就结束我的生命，医生做证明，律师做决定。像老婆婆这样，What is it to live for? Does she live to live? just for a longer life? I can't do that. And what substantial help can we offer? Songs and performance will be forgotten, fruits will be digested, what lasts longer than them? Spiritual? I'm not sure. They tend to forget. We must have something very impressive, very deep to touch their inner feelings. But what and how? I have to figure out.
最后，希望我们的活动有经费，我们的车费可以报销。

Weird Dream

I was extremely scared of death.
In the middle of my sleep this early morning, a sudden fear came to me. My heart was beating so fast that I almost could not breathe. The whole family knew the date of the deaths of both my sister and brother had come. It was like the darkest day of my life. Both my sister and brother had a strange disease which would cause their deaths by the time they reached certain age. My family had tried every possible method to escape this curse but in vain, the time of death had arrived. Thinking all about this, I didn't have the courage to face them. Finally, I found my brother, and he was so quiet. He knew all his life, that the end would be like this. He didn't say a word to me but I could see he was in the greatest pain. Knowing the fact but could do nothing to change it was the most unacceptable part. I just fell in his arms and cried. Then I saw my sister with red and tearful eyes, she comforted me.
That was the end of my dream. I felt I was lucky to get out of that dream ASAP cause it really frightened me. Then I remembered the other dream I had about death, in which I died, I tried to find some resemblance, but nothing. The only thing I've learnt from these dreams is that I am extremely afriad of death. I don't want to die now, I don't want anyone around me to die.

Today's a great day

It's just great.
I'll write later.

This Week

老人院&China Hotel are two major tasks, though China Hotel is not yet confirmed.
Love Pet Shop Boys. Their music can always save me from boredom and give me energy to enjoy life and move forward.