End of the darkest year of my life

Hope is all I have, for 2009.
The end is not near, it's here.
Reconnected few friends from primary school, one of whom had totally forgotten me. It was sad, cause after all this time, 7 yrs we didn't get in touch in any possible way though we've always had each other's name on qq. He changed a lot. Each of us had forbidden topics and conversation could not proceed. Once again, the feeling of distance!
I hate it. When I went back to HF for the (ridiculous) 120th Anniversary, I felt like a stranger. My mind kept whispering, 'I don't belong here, I don't belong here anymore'. This is me, who couldn't say a word to many familiar faces, who enjoyed silent company with an old friend, the one I anxiously wanted to meet, who ran away from the past as fast as possible.
Clarified something, still a long way to go.
First step of preparation.
Winter break plans- 1st stage.
Regret: didn't spend enough time with X-2, including tonight's outing...
Hope! Hope! Hope!
Start fresh!